34-year-old dude loses it after 28-year-old fiancée responds to his breakup speech with an apathetic "okay"

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Nov 15, 2024 8:00 AM EST

Everyone responds differently to breakups. Some people burst into tears and others immediately put up walls and bottle everything up so as not to give their now-former partner the satisfaction of having made them cry. Obviously, bottling everything up is not necessarily the healthy option in these scenarios, but let's give the folks who opt to take this route a break. After all, they have just been dumped.

Here, we have a 28-year-old woman who felt the breakup coming in her gut. She was engaged to a 34-year-old guy named Alex who was pursuing his PhD, an academic route she gave up on in order to make more money with a traditional corporate job. Clearly, Alex was unable to get over the fact that his younger fiancée was the breadwinner in their relationship. No matter how hard she tried to communicate that this wasn't an issue to her and that she was proud of him for sticking to his dream, Alex could not shake the fact that this was a dealbreaker for him.

Despite the fact that she knew their breakup was inevitable, the original poster (OP) was not prepared for his savage breakup speech when she returned home one day. So when she could only muster the word "okay" after his tirade, Alex exploded. Keep scrolling below for the fallout and for the best reactions from folks in the comments section. For more stories like this, check out this post about an entitled Karen shopper at the grocery store. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10428582400
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH for being disgusted and just saying OK when my Fiancé broke up with me? Edit: Thank you for all your opinions! It was nice to get this off my chest, lol.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 03
    Just to clarify, tho. I don't feel like a victim. I feel like something happened, and my relationship just turned bad. He behaved like an a hole but that is the extent of it. Very clearly, something is going on. But he doesn't want me to be part of whatever it is, and I have to respect that.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 04
    Now I just have to detangle myself legally from him, and after that, I'll just be left alone with my ugly green wall color. I think I might also adopt a cat as my ex was really allergic.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 05
    So... idk man. I (28) had been with my fiancé (Alex 34) since 2020. We met at a friend's party, hit it off, and have/had been together ever since.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 06
    He finished his Doctorate in Economics just last year. Since then he has been working at the Uni. I have my Master's in Media Sciences and decided to start working instead of going for a PhD.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 07
    Okay... so the problem is that Alex broke up with me last Monday. It was literally so surreal and honestly... just weird.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 08
    For the past few months, he'd been acting strange. He was making demands and then dropping them immediately. A few examples: he told me we were going to paint our walls back from dark green to white.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 09
    When I asked why, he just said, "For f's sake, forget it," and never brought it up again, even when I asked.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 10
    Another time, he came home and got mad because I was sitting on the couch with my head covered in a blanket (I had cramps). He was upset because I was "just sitting there watching Netflix"
    via Past-House-2508
  • 11
    (mind you, the house was spotless). When I tried to talk about it, he said, "Forget it, it's not a big deal."
    via Past-House-2508
  • 12
    This kind of thing became. common. Every time I tried to communicate... tried to figure out what was going on, whether it was something I did or maybe he was just stressed at work... he
    via Past-House-2508
  • 13
    would just say everything was fine, but he was clearly seething with rage. I didn't even have to do anything; he would find something to complain about (the apartment, clothes, me, work, etc.).
    via Past-House-2508
  • 14
    So, I gave him space, which apparently was also wrong. I told him I was going to help my parents with repairs for a few days, and somehow that was also wrong because he wanted to renovate the apartment too.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 15
    Then, on Monday, I got a text saying we needed to talk. I knew what was coming, and after the last few months, I had made peace with it.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 16
    When I came home, he was sitting on the couch. He didn't even wait for me to take off my jacket before saying, "I want to break up." Then the verbal diarrhea started.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 17
    He told me he resented me. First, because I didn't pursue my academic career further, even though I was capable, and he didn't want to upset me at the time. Then, when I started
    via Past-House-2508
  • 18
    making more money (since he didn't make much as a PhD student), he felt like I should have the last word financially, and he hated it.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 19
    Mind you, I never said anything like "it's my money, so I have the final say." That's a rule he imposed on himself, and he hated it.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 20
    He said he hated our paint scheme, the couch, and even our crockpot.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 21
    Then, he told me he had rejected a better PhD program to stay here because I had already started my job by the time he got the acceptance letters. Only, he never told me he had even applied overseas. He said a few
    via Past-House-2508
  • 22
    months ago he checked in with a friend who's in that program, saw how they were thriving, and decided I ruined his life. He said I had too much control over his life and that he hated the idea that I could just decide not to pay for things and "f him over" (I honestly don't even know what that means).
    via Past-House-2508
  • 23
    He also said he hated that all his friends loved me and didn't let him vent about me. Then he said again, "I'm done."
    via Past-House-2508
  • 24
    I was floored. I had already made peace with the idea that we were ending, and it hurt, but after that rant, I was just disgusted. I looked at him, probably with a disgusted expression, and said, "Okay."
    via Past-House-2508
  • 25
    He lost it. He said this is exactly what he meant... that it was horrible. We had been together for four years, and all I had to say was "okay" to our breakup?
    via Past-House-2508
  • 26
    I just asked if he wanted to stay here while he figured out where to go. He said, "Typical, of course you're holding the apartment over me," and started ranting again, so I just left.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 27
    I told my parents, and they're also confused. My dad suggested I reach out to our landlord and explain the situation to see what options I have. I can keep paying the rent no problem myself. He covered the utilities and some subscriptions.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 28
    Just to reiterate, I never had a problem with this. I saw that he was chasing his dream, and that was more important to me than a 50/50 financial split. I make good money and am happy at my job. I
    via Past-House-2508
  • 29
    never saw it as "slaving away." I always had the mentality that my money was our money because we were building a life together. Of course, I had my own savings and fun money, but I honestly never cared. As long as I felt he was working towards something and wasn't taking advantage of me, I was fine with it. More than fine.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 30
    Alex is still mad. He's going between texting me like a robot about the logistics of the split to being a seething a hole complaining about everything.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 31
    I'm not even hurt anymore. I just feel nauseated by him at this point. I don't know. Should I have reacted differently?
    via Past-House-2508
  • 32
    dan1987te Dude basically hates himself for decisions he took without ever consulting you. He chose his comforts but now since others seem in a better position he is venting. on you and making you the culprit.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 33
    NTA but your man has a little brain and doesn't know what to do with it.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 34
    R NTA. Dude basically said he hates you and everything about you. What are you supposed to do, beg for his love when you can find someone who'll give it to you readily? Nah. Sorry this happened and that you were blindsided, but this will be a good thing in the long run. Onto the next.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 35
    FWIW he sounds jealous, insecure and emotionally stunted. If what you've written is how things played out then you dodged a huge bullet.
    via Past-House-2508
  • 36
    Ready-Zombie... NTA - your response was sort of what I would have probably said in the same situation. He pretty much was like, 'I hate everything, you've ruined my life, blah, blah, blah'. What else is there to say other than, okay?
    via Past-House-2508
  • 37
    It's not as if he left the door open to work on your issues, he just ranted at you and said he was done, end of conversation.
    via Past-House-2508

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